My Promises
by YourCryingShoulder
Summary: OneShot! Edward Point Of Veiw on before, and after finding out about Bella in New Moon. Just one that has many main facts that many forgot anout in there story version of this. Spoilers to Twilight and New Moon!


**My Promises**

Edwards Point-Of-View

As I sat here, staring out the window listening to the thunder off in the distance, I contemplated if leaving Bella was the best decision I could of made. I mean, maybe there could have been another choice, one that didn't involve me leaving Bella behind. Alone.

It had been months since I left and ever since, I had stayed in complete isolation for months with only thoughts of Bella running and parading around in my head. Only leaving occasionally to feed.

If there was one thing I was not certain of, it was why Bella had become this important to me. How her skin and her blood smelled so appetizing. Why it was only possible with her that I could not read her thoughts, as much as I wanted to. And for all the world, not matter how long I tried to figure it out, it was simply impossible.

I never wished more in my life than at this moment that I had remained human. If I had been human than I could be with her without causing her more danger than she already put herself in. If I was human, than these memories wouldn't be as fresh as they were and her face wouldn't be perfectly sculpted in my mind.

I still remember how innocent she was. How her smile looked. How as I touched her I could actually feel warmth for a moment, no matter how small that moment was, the tingles that ran through my body were worth it all.

She was always that small, fragile little girl you had to put all you attention to just to protect her. The kind you could fall head over heels for. The kind that you would do anything for. Even if it meant hurting yourself in the process.

If I was human, I wouldn't have to hold my breathe every time she so much as got a cut. If I was human and normal then she wouldn't be dead for a small mishap like a small paper cut.

But also, if I had remained human, I would be long gone before she even so much as existed. And the thought of that was something I could not bare.

I knew I had to leave to protect her. And no matter how much I knew that it was the best decision I could have made, I could not deny that it killed me so much. Like having a slow and painful death that never ends. It just proves how I loved her so much, that to protect her, I was willing to hurt myself in the process. And I knew I would always be that way. I'd do anything to protect her.

I can still remember the last day I saw her. Still smell the mesmerizing smell of her delicate skin. And sadly, even that look in her eyes. How easily she could be convince that I didn't love her. I was prepared to put up a fight but as I stood there and I saw the look in her eyes, I knew that there wasn't a need for those preparations. I could remember how my heart dropped the second I told her I didn't love her and when the look in her eyes spoke to me, telling me she believed it. Did she not trust me at all? Or did she trust me so much that when I told her she automatically believed me? Either way, it killed me inside.

I watched the rain splatter against the glass of the window and run down it. The sun wasn't out even though it was five in the afternoon. I was able to leave the house but Bella stopped me from it, haunting my thoughts.

I distantly heard the phone ringing but made no move to get it. After about the fifth ring I huffed and got up. I walked to the phone instead of using my vampire speed, hoping the phone would stop ringing and I wouldn't have to deal with whoever was calling.

I picked up the phone and placed it gently against my ear. The gentleness of it reminded me of how I had to be while in the company of Bella and I felt my heart break further at the thought of her.

"Hello?" I said hollowly into my end of the phone.

"Edward?" I heard Rosalie ask hopefully.

"What is it Rosalie?" I was in no mood to put up with her negative attitude towards Bella.

"I'm so sorry Edward. I'm sorry I ever hated Bella. I wish I could have stopped her. I realize how much you love her and I wish that this never happened." She said it in such a rush that no human could possibly hear. My interest popped up at the mention of Bella.

My forehead creased in confusion. "What are you talking about Rosalie?"

I heard her sigh before she spoke again, and I could tell whatever she was about to say was going to be bad news. I couldn't quite concentrate enough on her thoughts as mine were already in such a jumble. And how I wished I could read her mind at this moment.

"Edward, Alison had a vision about Bella."

I felt my heart stop at her tone. I was getting quite frightened at what could have happened and I went on red alert. "And?" I probed her on, silently telling her to continue.

She sighed once again. "She saw her jumping off a cliff. And it wasn't an mishap. She had jumped from her own free will and plunged into the water. Edward, she didn't come up. The water was too rough."

I felt my world crumble around me. I had left to protect her, and while I was gone she was committing suicide. I was angry but my sadness quickly over powered it that emotion.

"Edward?" I heard Rosalie ask, concerned, but I, for the first time in my life, was speechless.

"I have to go," I told her and before she could stop me, the phone was already back on the hook.

I stared at the phone, heartbroken and tried to figuring out what to do. It couldn't be true, could it? I had to figure it out, and I had to know the truth.

I picked up the phone and dialled the number in less then a second, praying to god that Bella would answer and would be okay.

"Hello?" I heard someone say into the phone and I opened my mouth to speak but froze. I need to figure out if she was okay, but I had to keep my promise. If she was okay and I called and she found out it was me, I would be breaking it. I had made a promise to her and myself that to her, I would no longer exist. I had to think quick.

"Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen, I'm sorry to call but is Charlie there."

"No." I could tell by their tone that they were annoyed at me but I didn't care, I just need to know if Bella was okay.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked quickly, closing my eyes and praying for some sign that Bella was okay.

"He's at the funeral." And I felt myself crumble. I wished I was human, just so I could actually cry. Cry for Bella.

Without a second thought I hung up the phone. I glanced outside at the darkness that the rain provided. It seemed as if the rain had been waiting for this moment. To fill the room with the pain my heart provided.

I fell to the ground, running and tugging at my hair, sobs racked in my throat finally pushed there way out and echoed through the room.

I saw Bella staring at me the first day she came to school at Forks. I saw her frightened expression as the truck neared her. I felt the same anger when those guys were about to attack Bella. Images flashed through my mind crisp as day. From the moment in the meadow. From the first time I kissed her. From the baseball game to her lying on the floor as I fought off James. All the way to her birthday party and the last look I saw in her eyes, as heartbroken as she was.

It was funny really. I had left to protect her but she still died. I released a bitter laugh.

The thought of her dead tore me up. I released an agonized scream before completely crumbling onto the floor, burying my face in my arms. I wished I could cry. I wish I could be Romeo, and be able to go find my Juliet. Even if it was up there in heaven.

I remember the conversation Bella and I shared that night as we watched Romeo and Juliet. And though I never knew it than, the plan I had formulated was actually coming in handy and was about to be put into action.

I jumped up, determined.

_Bella, I know I couldn't protect you and I'm sorry I broke my promise. But maybe I can protect you in the afterlife. I'll be there soon. It won't be long._

_But first, I have to make a trip and meet some people. I love you. And I'll come to you soon. I promise. I promise…_

The rain soaked me, but with the image of Bella's lifeless body burned in my mind I knew what I had to do. Her fate had happened, and it was time for mine.

A/N: Okay, read the story Twilight and New Moon and I just had to write this. I know there are many of these already out the but I just had to make it. This is what I think really happened. I don't know, many people have different opinions and the left some important facts out. I just wanted to make my own. What do you think?

One of my reviewers told me this was something close to what Stephenie Meyer wrote. I'm not sure if she did write this part in Edward's point of view, and I apologize if she did. I know she wrote a chapter of Twilight in Edward point of view on her web site but I'm not positive if she wrote this. If it is true I'm sorry and I will delete this. I don't like to copy right it and to my knowledge I didn't do that, unless I somehow magically wrote the same thing, which I'm pretty sure I wrote this. But I'm pretty sure she didn't write something like this. I will delete if this is in anyway similar to Stephenie Meyer.


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